So THIS is how it could be worse (tempestreloaded) wrote,
So THIS is how it could be worse

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Dodging a MAJOR bullet...


Gods oh gods oh GODS do I lead a weirdly charmed life.

So I get this call at three o'clock this afternoon, from the Morgue. It's Norton. You all know I have a soft spot for Norton, shaved head or no. Anyhow, he's been DETERMINED that I should work Morgue at least one night. He insists I come down tonight, because they're short on actors.

Me: Uh...Norton, hun, I WOULD, but Monty has already said if he hears of anyone under him working at another Haunted House, they're fired on the SPOT.
Norton: Who's gonna tell him?
Me: ...I'll think about it.

So I call Todd up.

Me: Norton wants us to work Morgue tonight.
Todd: ...are you SURE? You're rolling some pretty big dice here. If Monty...
Me: Yeah, I know, but who's gonna tell him?
Todd: ...could always say you were just walking through and decided to play around some.
Me: Bingo.
Todd: Let me find a ride.

So that's settled. I'm working Morgue for the evening. I neglect to fill out any paperwork, because concrete evidence is a no-no, and I'm not exactly sure they'd approve if they knew I was from Beast, seeings as they HATE Monty. And I'm his current posterchild.

I agree to play around for the evening, and they stick me in Translyvania to start. I get a Romanian accent going, and play with the knifes I have stuck in my coat, and glide about the room in that manner.

On that note, the rooms are HUGE. Get enough furnishings in there, and that place It blows away anything I've seen before. They have REAL mazes, ones where you have to THINK to find your way out. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

So I get the first group pretty good. Todd's working the Laboratory three rooms ahead. As we're readying for the second group, Todd comes rushing in. I can tell from the look on his face it's not good.

Me: ...what? What is it...?
Todd: Monty is coming through now. HIDE!

Of all the luck, right? Hasn't visited Morgue in eleven years, and he picks TONIGHT.

I ran into Translyvania, found a closet, and hid. I can hear them come in, and it's not just Monty. It's the entire fucking management staff. Sherry, Brandon, all of them. I can hear them complimenting the place as I'm sitting there cowering, going "ohshitohshitohshit".

They pass on into the next area. Todd comes to get me. I step out, blink, glance around and go "...did I just get away with that?"

Seriously. He comes through -that- night, and had he seen me, BOY would there be Hell! I guess I'm just not happy unless I'm pushing the limits. Work best under pressure, and all that. But GODS, if ever there was a close one...

After a while, some people went home, and I got moved to the Doctor Deadly room. I got to act completely psycho-nuts in the strobe light and bang off walls and crap. It was awesome.

When we finally closed (We were DAMN busy for a Tuesday!), the owner HIMSELF escorted me through the rest of the house, letting me find my way through the various mazes in the house. Oh gods was it the most awesome thing ever. I spent a good half hour trying to find the way out of the graveyard. He ended up giving me a riddle "We are born of the must pray to God and climb the way to Heaven." Over by the stained glass windows of the church, there's some vines growing up. Push on the vines, and a door opens. I was so PLEASED with myself for figuring it out.

By the way, he's thinking about setting me in the church, as a rabid Nun. Sweetness.

And their London is HUGE. Not only do they have a Pub (And decently stocked too! I saw a Captain Morgan bottle there) they have the backstreets, front streets, a livery, hotel, and all sorts of places to explore. The way out is ALSO a riddle...concerning the pictures in the hotel lobby. Pushing on one leads out. It's almost like a puzzle game! So amazing...I told the owner it was the best house I'd ever seen, and he was just so FLATTERED that "One of the Beast's best" would say something like that. Coming from me, he said, it really meant something.

And oh did they love having me there. He had no idea I worked for Monty, but the fact that I did didn't turn him against me, like I thought. He was THRILLED to have such an actress on his hands, and introduced me to the cast as their 'guest actor' of the night. He definately wants me back...and who knows? Maybe I will.

After all...why settle for dull and predictable and safe? Just wouldn't be a proper Haunted House season without nights like these.

Oh yes. And the Morgue's dog, Black Magic, is the most adorable thing on four legs, EVAR.

The End.

PS - My hair glows in blacklight. Fucking A.

PPS - I blame this rash decision on my part COMPLETELY on the Schuldig in me. ^^

Momma always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun,
But Momma, that's where the fun is...

~Blinded By the Light - Blue Oyster Cult
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